I'm swimming in a sea of emotion. I love you.

 I think you really broke up with me last night. I feel so fucking sick. Please tell me it isn't true. Please tell me you were just trying to talk shit to me. Please don't let this be true. Why does this have to hurt so bad. I know I don't talk enough but you don't seem to want to talk to me either. I try to think of things to say but it all just gets stuck in my throat. I always think you would think that was stupid, or that I'm stupid. Please don't leave me. What do I have to do? Please tell me what I have to do and I'll do it. I will block the chatline off my phone. I will. I will have more to talk about. I just want my baby back. I love you please don't leave me. Please don't leave me. I don't want to be without you. I love you so much. I'm proud of the kind of man you are. You are strong and brave and when you love someone you really love them. That's how I feel about you. You are a good person, you show it every day. Please let me love you. I kept falling asleep last night and couldn't even talk to you. I just heard you say words. "We need to talk. I don't want to talk to you. What do you want me to do?" That's all I remember. I remember questioning you too but you weren't really answering me. Then I noticed we were on the phone together for a long time after that. I love you baby. Please don't leave me. I'm sorry. I know I sound like a parrot. I want to talk to you but I'm scared that whatever I try to talk to you about will bore you to death. 

So I'll start some conversations here, I hate what's happening in our country. I'm scared that 20 years from now it will look like 1950 again. That's what Donald Trump wanted, make america great again. If that's the case I'd like to know where that leaves Native Americans or the Japanese. Women will be arm pieces again or men and women will truly be looked upon the same. We will live in two room apartments seperately and the government will decide when we will have babies. When you think about what they are proposing to do with this country just this year and we have the great reset coming in 2030. It's just scary as fuck. 

Women need to be able to have abortions for lots of reasons. One if a woman isn't capable of raising children, she shouldn't have any. If she gets pregnant it should be her decision whether or not to keep the baby, at least until she tells the man. Once she tells the father about the baby it becomes his baby too and he should have a say in the decision-making process. 

I can talk more about the farm. I've never really talked about that much, have I? Or my extended family. I have things I could tell you about. The concerts I've been too, the live theatre I've seen, the food I've eaten, places I've been. I could tell you about some of the jobs I've had and what my hopes and dreams for the future are. What I'm doing now, what I'm working on. I can read more news, learn new things to talk about. I could share some of my interests and hobbies with you outside of our usual. 

Please don't hate me. I'll talk more, I promise. I'll do alot of things differently. Can't we at least talk about it? I didn't get to say anything to you last night. Please don't leave me. I love you.