What the fuck was that for?

 Why are you acting this way towards me? Don't you know how important you are in my life? How much I need your support right now? I have a lot of big changes happening in my life right now. But I can see that isn't going to happen. You are very angry and you are being extremely hateful to me. I'm just going to have to put more time into myself. And that's fine because to be honest I need it. 

I would love to be here to support you but you won't let me. I support you where I can. I know what you need and I do my best to give it to you. You know what I need too and usually you are pretty good at giving it to me but not today I guess.

What a nasty and humiliating thing you said to me earlier. I just don't understand where I went wrong this time.

Ugh me

 I'm giving all my pot stuff to Hannah. It's not good for me to be smoking that shit. Now I'm starting all over again to get "clean" I don't think smoking once in a while would hurt but it just doesn't work for me to have it anymore. It makes me stupid. And anxious and worried. That makes me sick to my stomach. 

It also makes me sick that I dragged my daughter into it.  SICK! Here is the big excuse:

I have been getting more and more frusturated at work, sometimes I stress over you, I stress about listening to Tanya take a shit and no one washing that airfryer but me. Stupid stuff. But it builds up. I thought pot would really make a difference and it just makes life harder tomorrow. 

As long as I can blame other things I don't have to admit I'm doing anything wrong. I'm so hungry. I need a nap too.

Happy Valentines Day!

 I really wish we were getting along. I miss you so much. I was wishing so hard that you were going to call me before work today. 

I'm really worried about us. The way you've been talking to me scares me. I am doing the best that I can. I know why you're mad at me. I can't go back, I can only move forward.

I hope that our Valentines Day can be a nice one. I really do miss you.

I stopped and got my blood sugar medicine today and I'm actually excited to take it. Maybe I'll start sleeping again. I signed up for an extra shift 1-4, then I have group from 430-630. I am really hoping you wanna talk to me tonight. I'm missing you so bad.