I wish i could talk to you

 There is so much going on in my head. I wish I could talk to you. I wish I could tell you how sorry I am.  I know you just don't want to hear it anymore. I'm just tapped out. I got nothin left. I'm empty and I'm so lonely. I know you're mad. You have every right to be. There are just some things at some moments I can't stop myself but I try. I do and you know I do. I want to be out on the chatlines searching for you right now but that only makes things worse. I was on the 5700 for like 5 minutes and timber pussy started talking shit about my family. I'm really feeling stuck right now. I feel like a bunny caught in a net scrambling to get free but I'm lost in it and I don't know how to get out. I miss talking to you in room 82. That meant so much to me. Now I'm just stuck with all this shit in my head and I have nowhere to put it. Please don't leave me. I need you. I'm sorry I flipped on you last night. It was that goddamn letter. It freaked me the fuck out. No excuse that's just what happened. Can't you forgive me? I just want to sleep.

you got caught in the crossfire

 I'm so sorry about last night. I was so upset by that letter and I took it out on you. You're sick of it. Do you want to take a break? I don't,  I really don't I need you but I'm under a lot of stress right now and I am not solid. I'm scared of losing my housing, my job and you. Please try to understand. I try to understand when you snap off at me. This whole thing with Jennifer should be over soon. I heard some things today and I dont think she'll be around much longer. I love you , I don't want to fight. I'm sorry. You know how hard I'm trying to get my shit together. Please try not to take the things I say when I am upset personally.  It was a glitch in my system.