so I have a lot to say

The lord is alive in my life. This is something I've been aware of for many years now. I hear people doubt or question him and it leaves me baffled because to me he is as tangible as my big beautiful breasteses. He has given me so much in my life time. Put wonderful people into my life, and the courage to stay strong in moments where weakness seemed like the only option.

I've been feeling terribly weak lately. I think I had forgotten where my power really comes from. So I turn to him now and say. "lord, you are my light and my salvation show me my path. I am but a tool for your bidding, use me the way you see fit lord. I know I am here to do your will and not here on this earth for my own gains. I will accept the things you give me lord as if each and every one of them were the gift of gold knowing that each challenge you give me is leading me home."

With just those few words I am comforted. I am reminded that I am not here to get anything or anyone, I am not in this world to reach some goal of my own. I am here to serve the lords purpose for me, and it is through doing that I will find my final and glorious salvation.

I'm sure that sounds like a bunch of religious jargon, and maybe that's exactly what it is and all it is. But to me it means so much more than that. and it gives me a purpose, and makes my pain bearable and understandable. And if that's all it is well that's more than enough right now.