What the fuck?

I don't think you read this anymore. I have felt a definite emptiness here and on your "number". I don't think you are listening to me at all. In any way. You hate me know and you have another girlfriend that is moving in with you. Was this like when you were going to meet me, or when you were going to marry candy? Or more like when you were going to meet angel and went so far as to buy a ticket to come see you. Or all the times that Shasta was waiting in a hotel for you?  I don't understand you. You have all this love from all these sources and you still don't want it. You push people who care about you away. I hit the four year mark and that don't seem to mean a thing to you. You wanna be done with me, I can't stop ya. I can't make you love me and I sure as hell can't make you not love anyone else. My ADHD won't allow me to stop what's coming out of my mouth. I have it worse that 97% of other people my age and you were the only person who could see through that. You make a joke of me telling me to call you. I know you aren't going to answer me. I don't know what your going to do day to day. Sometimes you are sweet, then your sexy, next thing I know you're insulting and finally you become scarry as fuck. Are you going through some mental health shit on your own or are you really just moving on to Megan and telling me to fuck off. That didn't happen because you got mad at me one night for 15 minutes. But I got to have the relationship I wanted with you for a long time. It was good and you helped me through a lot. I'm so much stronger and more capable now than I was when I met you. I have grown immensely in our time together. I had really felt that you were making some great changes too. I see though that like me you can only hold your shit together for so long.

Im a good girl. I love long and hard. I don't give up. I forgive and forget. I try to be supportive and loving. I try to make you laugh and sometimes I make you cum. I have Integrity but I doubt you could even wrap your head around that. I wonder who you are on the phone with now. Who are you going to sleep with? It definitely isn't me,

stimes i think you intentionally antagonize me so you have an excuse for bailing out on me and leaving me out in the cold because you are busy with other girls right now. You feel guilty for what  you are doing to me and so you pick at me until I get upset and you have an excuse to not talk to me. You heard me this morning. I was hurt, those tears were pain. I just want to go to sleep right now. You have worn me down.