My Love

I'm sorry I talked shit about Shasta. I know that's a trigger for you and I did it anyway. I don't want to hurt you. I am working on my impulse control in therapy and I'm going for ADHD testing today, which would explain some things. I love you, I don't want to fight with you. I miss you terribly. My heart aches without you. I can't eat anything, can't hardly sleep at night. I need you and I am trying. I just need to hang up when I get that upset. That is something I am going to be working very hard on. Things between us were going so well, so well. I hate that I fucked that up. I wish you knew how badly it hurts me that I upset you the way I did. I haven't called the chatline since the incident. I am no longer stalking you and after I cancel my sideline account  I am deleting it from my phone.  Please, try to understand how upset I was. Try to understand how often I do ignore things; kayla??? Brenda??? Isabella??? Megan??? and how much better I have gotten over the last six months or maybe even a year. Tomorrow is 4 years since we started talking and I so terribly want to spend a little time with you. I am so sorry that I upset you, that's the last thing I want to do.