My biggest fear

I am struggling this morning with the feeling that you don't want me anymore. I changed my number and that always makes me feel like I'm going to lose you. You have been very good to me for awhile and that makes me worry too. I know though that when I don't take my medicine I spend the next day feeling this anxiety and I always relate it back to us. I couldn't possibly just feel this way, it has to be because I can sense that you are going to break up with me. I have no proof of that. I do have proof that I didn't take my meds and I almost feel like that might be a reason for you to avoid me. You know I get crazy. Please don't go away from me. Rational or Irrational this is what I am feeling. It's not your fault. It's my fault for missing my meds. I miss you so much right now. I just want to be home, with you. I don't want to be separated from you again. It's so lonely when  you distance yourself from me. I will try to hold steady until this feeling passes and I hope it passes soon. I have some things I can do in the meantime to keep me distracted from this really icky feeling. I just want to hear your voice.