You are kind and funny. You care about me. You pay attention and listen to me. You play guitar for me and talk to me until I fall asleep. You make me KNOW I am loved.

This is not you. Cold and uncaring. Selfish and filled with hate. I've seen this face before but this is not you.

I don't know what I did to deserve this. I don't know how you can flip a switch like this in a matter of hours.

I don't know if you're going to stop calling me altogether or if this is a temporary state of things. You are just whittling me back and whittling me back. You are really scaring the fuck out of me. All it would take to soothe me would be a few words but you won't offer them. That scares me. 

Please don't do this to me. I already miss you so much. Please don't do this to me. Be straightforward and tell me what you want. I will do anything for you. Just please please stop hurting me.

I know that I have talked some shit to you lately, I'm sorry. This has been horrible for me and I'm not always keeping my head. I let my emotions overcome me. I have a really hard time with emotional regulation when I'm under stress and this really feels like stress.

Last night was my penance for all of my wrong doings last week and yours too. No more fighting. Please don't break your promise to me.