I'm not quite sure how I'm feeling about things right now. I feel good, well put together, steady on my meds, I'm looking towards the future, I'm remembering to center myself when I need to, I'm making new friends and thinking about my children more often. I'm trying new things like sewing and I'm going to make a pie for everybody. I filled out a form for therapy just now so I'll be getting started with that. I'm just waiting now to make some money so I can get my license back and get my car back so I don't have to ride the bus anymore. I hate that fucking bus. I have to leave in 16 minutes so I can walk 5 blocks and nearly miss the bus again like I've done already all fucking week. That is my biggest complaint in life right now. I miss Chris but I can't dwell on it anymore, it sucks me down into this sad and desperate feeling place and I can't live there. I've tried to make a guy friend, there's one boy that puts a shine on me but he's from the chatline too and for that reason alone I don't really feel like I can trust him. Honestly though he's the only guy I've found interesting enough to catch my attention besides Chris or Steve in 2.75 years. That has to say something doesn't it? Anyway, I have to leave in about 10 minutes. I better get my ass moving.
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