Confused

 You were so mean this morning and I have no idea why. I'm working so hard to improve myself. I was listening to recordings of me fighting with Shasta because I'm trying to process those feelings so I can move past them. And lilly and I went out to dinner, I didn't want you to hear something that would trigger you but it must have triggered you anyway. I don't know if I will ever be able to get you to trust and believe in me. I try so hard to be a better person. I know you see that. There's only so much I can do.