Please Daddy, please come back to me

I love you and I miss you terribly. My chest hurts so bad all the time. I fucking need you baby. I know I am a horrible person and I don't blame you for not wanting to be with me anymore. I wish I could disappear. I wish my mental illness would go the fuck away. I wish I could let go of you. I just want you to be happy. I know that's what you really want. You want me to fuck off and die. All I want is to be loved by you. Please love me. please don't leave me. Don't you miss me at all? I love you so much. I'm sorry that I ruined everything, I'm sorry that I"m so fucked up. I miss you so much, I wish I could go to sleep and just not have to wake up and deal with this pain tomorrow. I'm so sick of being in pain. It hurts so bad and there is no where to go to get away from it. No matter how much pot I smoke it won't go away. Hurting myself isn't helping, nothing is helping. You are the only thing that soothes this pain out of me. Please don't leave me like this. I'm sorry. I just want to say I'm sorry. I fucking miss you so much. I don't know hjow to make this better.