I'm sorry

    I'm sorry. I wish I would have told you at the time but I was scared you were going to be upset. And I think I was right. I needed a place to go and it was all I could afford at the time. It was literally the ONLY place I could fine.  I understand that you are upset with me. I wish we could just talk about it. I don't know if the shasta shit is true or not. I don't know for sure about anythinthg. I just can't fight with you. I love you and I don't want to say anything that is going to hurt you. I don't want you to hurt me either. I know I love you and you love me. I understand right now you might feel like you don't want to love me. I know that this could be a deal breaker. I don't know why I thought it was ok to tell you last night. That was a fucked up thing to do, to mention it like it was no big deal. Fuck me. seriously, sometimes I'm a fucking asshole. I just wish I had told you at the time but we were fighting so badly during that time. I was trying not to kill myself. I was and I'm sure you can remember that. I deserve to be punished. I just hope you can try to look at the situation I was in at the time and what my options were. I could have lived in my car. I love you and I don't want to fucking fight with you. I hope that there is a way that I can make amends to you. I miss you. I tried to answer the phone earlier but I still had gloves on and when I pulled my phone out it hung up. I'm so sorry if you're feelings are hurt or if you are angry. I will do whatever you need me to do.